i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize