Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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