Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

  (951): View more from California

  That's the thing about women.

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  (707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z
  Replies (6) Good night (665) Bad night (2337)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.

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  (206): Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking. http://tfl.nu/kuj0
  Replies (11) Good night (805) Bad night (4047)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!

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  (413): apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be! http://tfl.nu/gcwe
  Replies (18) Good night (967) Bad night (2492) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.

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  (775): I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;) (1-775): Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city. http://tfl.nu/zbb5
  Replies (14) Good night (4666) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

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  (905): MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. http://tfl.nu/mzwz
  Replies (40) Good night (5260) Bad night (1346) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  bc i get to see you. naked.

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  (203): are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid? (203): bc i get to see you. naked. http://tfl.nu/db7h
  Replies (24) Good night (8118) Bad night (1168)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.

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  (662): This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever. http://tfl.nu/lkca
  Replies (5) Good night (2933) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.

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  (815): This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro. http://tfl.nu/5jtw
  Replies (8) Good night (3432) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.

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  (+44): The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself. http://tfl.nu/y3oz
  Replies (4) Good night (772) Bad night (1956) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.

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  (250): This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b. http://tfl.nu/l3kw
  Replies (14) Good night (2497) Bad night (1006)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?

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  (443): Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version? http://tfl.nu/d18m
  Replies (5) Good night (1643) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.

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  (717): i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer. http://tfl.nu/4jv5
  Replies (11) Good night (1621) Bad night (358) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers

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  (905): I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers http://tfl.nu/jbgt
  Replies (5) Good night (946) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.

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  (216): It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing. http://tfl.nu/gc3o
  Replies (2) Good night (1108) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott

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  (916): All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott http://tfl.nu/2s3b
  Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt

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