maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
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Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
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Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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