I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
where am i from again
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
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We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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