Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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