would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize