You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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