when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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