My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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