WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm too high and old for this...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize