he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize