I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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