so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize