We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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