Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize