I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
These tits shall not be calmed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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