actually, I'm a sock model
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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