I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize