You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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