you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I touched a dick in church today
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