well most of my day revolves around power hour
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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