bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize