My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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