I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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