not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize