if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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