Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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