**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
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I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
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I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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