I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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