question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize