8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize