Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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