we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so let's talk penis.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize