ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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