I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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