YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize