I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
It's Friday. Sex?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize