...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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