Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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