so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize