sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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