Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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