it hurts more in the daytime
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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