We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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