it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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