Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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