i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize