Where did you get a picture of my penis
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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