I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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