I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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